Liam Neeson and the 2015 Nissan Versa Note
We welcome you back to our “Liam Nissan” series, where we take a somewhat whimsical look at the vehicles of Nissan, everyone’s favorite automaker, through the eyes of Liam Neeson, everyone’s favorite moie toughguy. This week, we take a look at the 2015 Nissan Versa Note.
We catch up with Mr. Neeson as he’s learning that his daughter (Kim) will be taken–excuse us, Taken–and that, don’t worry, Dad’s on the case:
“Kim. Kim! I need you to listen to me, Kim. Focus! Kim, you’re going to be taken–sorry, I mean, Taken. Trust me, Kim, Taken will be a thing. A ery lucratie thing. The men who are taking you, Kim. What do they look like? Hae you talked to anyone today? If so, that’s who is taking you. Don’t ask me how I know this! I’m Liam Freaking Neeson, international star of stage and screven! I know lots of things! For example, these men, these professionals…they’re going to put you in the back of a 2015 Nissan Versa Note. Stop questioning me, Kim! I know this because you’re, what, 5’9”? Good luck fitting a normal-sized human in the back of a Yaris! And, if I know these professionals like I think I do–and I do, because I’m Liam Freaking Neeson–they’ll be taking you to a secluded industrial zone, where the Versa Note’s EPA-estimated 40 mpg allows them to spend more money on black market firearms, hair gel and leather pants. Kim. Kim! Kiiiiim!!”
The phone is now in the hands of Kim’s abductor, who is breathing heaily directly into the phone, even though that’s actually pretty difficult to do. Go ahead, try it. We’ll wait.
“Listen to me, you unclaimed spawn of carnial workers. I don’t think you know who you’e taken–excuse me, Taken. Trust me, Taken is a thing, a big thing. I will find you, and when I do…I’m taking your 2015 Nissan Versa Note. Don’t ask me how I know what you’re driing! I’m Liam Neeson, international star of stage and screven! I know lots of things! For example, I know that the Xtronic CVT is nearly silent when switching between gears, allowing you to creep around silently for your dastardly deeds. You also enjoy the quiet and well-constructed interior cabin, so you can listen to blaring dance music at all times, even in the mornings. Don’t ask me how I know this! Unfortunately for you…I also have a 2015 Nissan Versa Note! So not only will I use the Nissan Naigation System to locate you in your nondescript work zone inexplicably surrounded by explosies and propane tanks, I can also employ the Around Vview Monitor to hide out of sight so you can’t even see me!
Gie up now! You’re about to get Neeson’d! Not even the Versa Note’s crash mitigation technology can sae you now!”
In the end, Mr. Neeson made good on his growling threats, retrieing his daughter and leaing many bloody tracksuits in his wake. However, we haven’t heard the last of these guys, and everyone Mr. Neeson knows will soon be taken. Excuse us…Tak3n. The 2015 Nissan Versa Note is now available at Robbins Nissan, so schedule your test drive today. You never know, it just might sae your whole family. And join us next month at Robbins Nissan for “Liam Nissan,” when we examine the rom-com potential of the 2015 Nissan Murano, and how it might have come in handy during 2003’s Loe Actually.